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Please visit my new blog SereneLiving Finding Serenity in the Midst of Modern Life

Serene Living

Snowpocalypse 2016 is in progress as I write.  We’ve enjoyed a snow day here in Pennsylvania.  So far we have over 23” of snow in less than 24 hours.  It’s beautiful to look at.  This quiet Saturday has been spent reading, cooking, eating, and cross country skiing.  I love when I am home on a weekend with no particular agenda.  My favorite thing is to sit on the couch in my living room.  The sofas are old, but their blue, green, and white large floral pattern makes me happy, as does the design and architecture of this home.  From the couch, I can see the snow falling outside the four sliding glass doors and piling up on the back deck.  This quiet house in the woods is my respite.  I am so blessed to enjoy this beautiful home.  

But it’s my attitude and my choices that make it a respite.  First, I try to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness every day.  In this I am encouraged by Ann Voskamp.  I believe in God and choose to give thanks for big and small things daily.  I’m still working on my list of 1000 Gifts and will continue - probably I’ll be making lists all my life.  But a thankful heart is a content heart.  Remembering that I have things to be thankful for helps me keep life in perspective.

Secondly, I choose to cultivate ‘down time’ - time for me, in the midst of a busy life, it is easy to be constantly on the go.  I am intentional in making time for quiet in my life.  I try to spend some time every day with a book or going for a walk or simply enjoying a cup of tea.  There are many ways to add serenity to your life.  Time outdoors, even in the middle of a blizzard, is always life-giving to me.  Something about fresh air, seeing the sky and trees, always perks me up.  I love to go for a ten minute walk first thing in the morning.  I am forever stopping to take pictures - the scenery is always changing - even if the walk is the same.  I take lots of pictures of clouds.  Clouds inspire me.  

What brings you serenity?  Let me know in the comments.

My One Word

I remember where I was when I got my One Word.  It was early January of 2016 and I was just leaving the doctor’s office on a cold winter day, and I paused just outside the door to look at a bush.  There in the midst of winter was a tiny bit of green.  I was reminded to slow down and admire the beauty around me. And it came to me, Serenity is my word.  It defines me.  It is how I live my life.  And it is partly my temperament, but it’s also intentional.  Like the choice that I made to stop and admire the landscape, not just hurry on to the next thing (or back to work).  It’s about choosing to see and notice the beauty around you.  A life lived in a rush does not leave much room for serenity.  But slowing down can be hard.  Stick around, see how I cultivate Serenity.

Living Serenity

What is serenity?  And how does one find it?

I'm meditating on this One Word for 2016 and woke up early this morning with ideas running through my head, so I got out of bed and began journaling.  Here are the preliminary thoughts of things I want to write about:

• Quiet or margin
• Thankfulness
• Meditation
• Reading
• Time Outdoors

These are things that feed my soul.  I especially like to get some daily time outside to see the sky and connect with my Creator.  The fresh air stimulates my mind.  In the coming weeks, I hope to explore these topics in more detail ... stay tuned!

The Serene Life

Here's a working title for what God has been speaking to me about in 2016 ... if you know me, you know my name fits me - my parents named me well.  I'm feeling a nudge to share my serenity with the world and think I'll start a new blog.  I'm polling ideas for a title on my FB page.

Coming soon  - more thoughts on living serenely.

Jack's Woods

It is a fine autumn day for a walk in the woods. I take our 14-year-old yellow lab, chow mix for a wander on a path through a preserve across the street. Because of the very thick carpet of leaves, the path is barely discernible. However Jack, the dog leads me on unperturbed. He knows the way having walked it many times with his master, my husband. Although I cannot see the path Jack has no trouble walking around the big circular loop, leading the way. It speaks to me about our spiritual path. How if we spend time with our master, and stay in the path, we will know the way. Jack is going blind and can not hear very well, and lately he has had some trouble walking due to a stroke. But this does not phase him on our walk. He is happy to be out in God's creation and trucks along in front of me. In fact, as I pause to take a picture and admire the beautiful leaves and branches against the deep blue sky, he pulls on the leash wondering what is taking me so long. Why don't I follow along and keep moving?  If I look closely I will notice that there are signposts, miniature yellow diamonds nailed to trees along the way. And there are helpful raised wooden walkways in places where it is damp. And there are kind souls who have cut some of the larger fallen trees leaving a pathway open for the Sojourner. Somewhere under the leaves, people have placed branches along both sides of the path to define it and show us the way.  On our spiritual journey are there places where we need to sign posts or little walkways to keep us out of trouble?

Public Transportation

When I was growing up, my dad commuted by train to Manhattan from the suburbs.  I live in the suburbs of another city and work in a suburb that is 10 miles from my house.  Recently I started taking the train to work.  Better for the planet, gets me a brisk walk each day and time outdoors, and also can be paid for with pre-tax dollars - lots of positives here.  And it gives me a short window to sit and enjoy my tea while reading a bit for grad school.  Plus lots of people watching. Recently my twenty-four year old remarked to me that she feels like a grown up because she has a monthly pass to a parking garage - now I feel like a grown up because I'm taking the train to work like my dad!

The best thing about it so far has been the short walk between the train station and my office which is 8-10 minutes depending on how briskly I walk.  First of all, it is fall, so the trees are beautiful. Second the weather has been fair.  And third, it's balmy this week.  There is something about being out in nature first thing in the morning that is soul nurturing.  It is just a wonderful feeling.  I love the outdoors and it connects me to my Creator.  But I have found that a brief walk is also good for my brain - it gets my mind going.  I always find new ideas and inspirations come to me while I am walking.  So that is a huge benefit; what a way to start the day - invigorated, inspired, and intellectually awake.

The train is another story - going to work, there is a nice conductor, and the train is generally clean. And they announce the stops over the loud speaker as well as on a display monitor.  Going home, they seldom announce the stops and it is dark and there does not seem to be a display monitor.  How are we expected to find our way home?  It's too dark to see the names of the stations, and those signs are not lit up.  Yesterday all the passengers were asking each other - which station is this and fortunately someone knew.  And I could see a few landmarks I recognized one stop before home. Safely home.

Unimaginable Love

My colleague subscribes to the Moravian Daily Text and often reads them aloud to us at the start of a meeting.  I was struck by the language in this particular prayer:

Gracious One, do not stop calling us to open ourselves to your unimaginable love. Help us to come together that our witness of faith may be unified for all the world to know of your great compassion. Amen. (emphasis added)

I know nothing about the Moravians, except for their motto which I have heard before:

In Essentials, Unity; In Nonessentials, Liberty; In All Things, Love

and which I think is a terrific sentiment. May we all be more inclined to love and unity as we reflect God's unimaginable love.

The daily readings suggested for this day by the Moravians include:
Monday, November 2 —
Psalm 119:129–136
Ezekiel 38:7–39:13
2 Peter 1:1–11
Jeremiah 29:13–14
Matthew 18:19

I pray you will meditate today on God's Word and his unimaginable love.

No shoes ... No service

Saw a funny video online with a dad ranting about how hard it was to get his child to even find, let alone put on his shoes so the family could get out the door.  It took me back ...

This one child of mine, who shall be nameless, was always taking off her shoes from the time she was very small.  When she was about nine [read, 'old enough to know better'], we had two interesting experiences.  One day I got both girls into the car for a trip to the library.  You remember nine year olds - they dress themselves, put on their own seat belts, and hopefully brush their own teeth.  At the time we lived out in the country and it was about a 25 minute drive into town to get to the library.  So, off we went, having an uneventful ride.  We arrived at the library and piled out of the car in the parking lot. Whereupon I looked down at her feet and we both realized she had no shoes on.  Library trip cancelled.

Do you think that disappointment was enough to help her remember such basic things as shoes?  No, a few months later, we went off to the grocery store. Picture the same kids loaded into the minivan, and the same 20 minute drive to the grocery store (it was a little closer).  And there we are in the parking lot with no shoes.  This time I decided she had to wait in the car.  There were a few essential groceries needed if we were going to eat.

Some moms would, I suppose, have at least let a child go into the library with no shoes (but not the grocery store - yuck!).  Not this mom - too many things could go wrong in bare feet.  Not the least of which was they would be filthy.  Hopefully now that she is an adult, she has outgrown some of her forgetfulness; but thankfully she has not outgrown that carefree spirit.

Currently Reading ...

Blue Mind: The Surprising Science That Shows How Being Near, In, On, or Under Water Can Make You Happier, Healthier, More Connected, and Better at What You Do
fascinating stuff about the impact of water on our mental and emotional lives

Reframing Organizations: Artistry, Choice and Leadership

and numerous research/stats books for my classes ...

and if I ever have any spare time, a Lee Childs book I picked up at the Library book sale.

500 Words

My friend, writer Jeff Goins, challenges his audience to write 500 words.  I've been noodling the idea of writing a book and so I'll take the plunge.

I want to encourage parents everywhere that it is possible to raise godly children who follow Christ and excel in the things they put their minds to.  The world wants you to believe that rebellion is a given and that the teen years will be a nightmare.  Not so!  We raised two girls who did not rebel in any major ways.  Sure they experimented with alcohol, and pushed the boundaries, made occasional poor choices, and fought with each other; but, they were also high-school valedictorians, accepted early to college, and excelled in their colleges.  Today the younger one is entering her senior year at a Christian college and the older graduated from a prestigious school and is pursuing her dream of stage management.

How did we do it?  Consistency, love, firm boundaries, and faith integrated into every aspect of life is the short answer.  The long answer, well, that's a book.  Our family is very close, the sisters are best friends and mom is often their confidante.  And dad is their role model.  We were active in church and looked for opportunities for them to be mentored and discipled.  We walked out our faith as transparently as possible.  We chose a lifestyle of service and ministry and hospitality which created a place of vitality and we were part of a tribe of like-minded families.

But we also encouraged them to be independent and to think for themselves.  While we did many activities together as a family, and savored the moments, days, and years, we were not 'helicopter parents'.   Often I would hear other parents lament the burden of having children at home, as in "I can't wait for school to start" or "summer is too long."  I could not fully understand this mindset.  Our children are a gift and I was thankful for the time that I had with them.  I invested myself fully as a mom in all aspects of their development.  I encouraged them to develop interests and friendships outside the home, but made home a place they would want to come back to.

We instilled discipline in them from a young age without being harsh or overbearing.  We taught them to think, to discern, and to make decisions. We expected them to be responsible and resourceful. While we live a middle-class life, we taught them not to take privilege for granted, mostly by example and experience in the developing world. For a period of time, we homeschooled them.  We read aloud as a family well into their teen years.  We also read the Bible together and encouraged them to read and memorize Scripture.  We were involved in their faith development, not leaving it to the church.  We practiced thankfulness.

Oh and we ate dinner together as a family just about every night.

Want more?  Well, I guess you'll have to (wait for) and buy the book!

Sand Dollars and Sunsets in the PNW

Leaning Out Can Be a Form of Leaning In

I just finished Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.

While I commend her for an insightful book on the world of women and work, I am not sure that I agree with everything in her book.  I found her viewpoint to be very biased toward the importance of women having a career.  Sheryl's book is an important manifesto for women in leadership and the role of women in society today.  She champions the cause of women in senior leadership and encourages and empowers women today.  Although I think this is an important cause, it is not the only role for women in society.  I believe that women can have it all and juggle family and career.

I realize that not all women have a choice and many must work; I was fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom for 13 years.  Our family made choices to move to places with lower cost of living and to live a more modest lifestyle.  After my girls reached middle school, I rejoined the workforce.  I believe that different seasons can lead to different choices.  I believe that those years at home with my children were an important contribution to society.  It is my opinion that the shaping of the lives of the next generation and the fabric of family is too important a task to leave to others.  

Although Sheryl might say that I "leaned out," I would disagree.  I leaned in - to different priorities.  I would not trade those years for anything.  They resulted in close relationships with my daughters who are now confident, happy, and productive young adults. 

The Beauty of Creation

Earth’s crammed with heaven
And every common bush afire with God: 
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes.

                              Elizabeth Barrett Browning 

On Writing Well

Tom Lake,  a writer for Sports Illustrated and an alum of my alma mater, Gordon College says, “We’re seeing this hunger among readers for long stories that really dig into something to find answers rather than just sticking to the surface—and they’re reading them on their iPhones."  I for one love to read the alumni magazines of several institutions that I support including Wheaton College, Gordon, and Seattle Pacific University because they have well-written and interesting stories.  And the articles are somewhat long.  But I enjoy the intellectual stimulation.  Good photography and graphics and visually interesting layout are important, but alone they do not provide enough to hold my attention.  These magazines provide an opportunity for institutions of Christian Higher Education to tell their story, to celebrate their impact on students and the world at large, to promote their vision.

Hard Eucharisteo

Once again I am wakeful between 2-3 a.m.  Clearly my brain is still processing all that has happened. This story could have had a different ending for my family. Would I still be giving thanks?
Eucharisteo. Charis: at its root grace and joy. Eucharisteo: giving thanks. In ALL things. This is what Ann Voskamp calls 'hard eucharisteo.'

When I first got the news of what was happening, I went straight to my knees. Since then, I've been on my knees several times in gratitude, in questioning, in praise, in lament, in worship. We MUST be on our knees for this generation.

An SPU prof expresses just how difficult it is to process all the emotions. Beautifully said. This campus community is so strong and so filled with charis.

As I chatted yesterday with a student on Eastern's campus, who coincidentally is also named Jenny, she remarked, 'we're not safe anywhere.'  My response was, "we're not safe anywhere, but we are safe everywhere in the arms of God. He will carry us through."

My final text to Gennie last night was "Go live life!"

Pray for SPU

Please join us in prayer for the students and families at Seattle Pacific University. There was a shooting on campus yesterday. One male student has died and a female student is in intensive care after undergoing surgery last night.

Those of you who knew our girls when they were small will remember that bagels were a staple in our home.  But for a bagel, Gennie might not be here today.  

Our daughter, Gennie, is a junior at SPU and texted us late yesterday afternoon. The text that no parent wants to get: 'I'm safe. There is a shooter on campus. We're in lockdown.' She was on her way to meet a friend in the building where the shooting happened when she stopped to get something to eat, a bagel. When she arrived the police were there with one of the victims. She described seeing a lot of blood. She sheltered with other students in the building across the street until the campus was secured. Her friend hid under a table and was spared.

We are thankful for Gennie's safety but heartbroken for the victims and families.

She texted me late last night saying how much homework she still had to do for U Scholars and how she needed to finish preparing for a one question essay test today - which we have been chatting about all week - the question is "What does it mean to be human?" - this was for U Scholars - a culmination of all their science, theology and philosophy of the past 3 years.  They are to write a maximum of one page. I had shared with her earlier this week about my current devotional readings in One Thousand Gifts about how the meaning of life is to glorify and honor God (from the Westminster Shorter Catechism) to see His beauty and glory all around us and about my readings in The Pursuit of God about how the veil of self keeps us from a fuller intimacy with God.

 I assured her that classes were to be cancelled today.  I imagine the question will take on new meaning in the light of yesterday's tragedy.

"but faith is always a way of seeing, a seeking for God in everything. And if the eyes gaze long enough to see God lifted in a thing, how can the lips not offer eucharisteo? The truly saved have eyes of faith and lips of thanks. Faith is in the gaze of a soul" Ann Voskamp

Please join us in praying for this CCCU school and the students and families. This is the beginning of finals weeks for the students and graduation is scheduled for a week from tomorrow. Obviously classes are cancelled today and there is another prayer service on campus at noon. I am convinced that our prayers for this generation are vital.

God's grace and mercy be with us all.

#prayforSPU
#standinginthegap
#1000gifts

Eucharisteo

 

The question was raised in my book study of One Thousand Gifts last week ... of what is the point of listing small things that we are thankful for like the green leaves of spring.  I don't remember who asked it, but I think she and others were wrestling with the larger question of how to be thankful in the midst of life's larger trials and what relevance these small things had.  Why should we fill a list of 1000 things we are thankful for with seemingly insignificant things?  How can we be thankful for the hard things?

Eucharisteo - grace, joy, thanksgiving

As I pondered this, several things came to mind.
Thankfulness is a discipline.  Being thankful in the small things teaches us how to be thankful in all things.
Thankfulness is a habit - and habits take practice.
Noticing these seemingly small things, puts God in perspective and teaches us to reverence our Creator.
Noticing helps us to "be here now" to live fully.  It allows us to experience life in new ways.

I think that as we develop this discipline, we grow closer to being able to trust and thank God in all circumstances.

Being thankful brings us deeper into relationship with God.

I think God is delighted when we give thanks in big and small things.

As Maria sings in The Sound of Music:
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles with warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Full lyrics

The picture is the view I enjoyed yesterday as I worked at our annual golf tournament.  

• Thankful for a day outdoors
• Thankful for good weather
• Thankful for time to enjoy God's beautiful creation
• Thankful for the hawk overhead
• Thankful for the sunshine and the breeze
• Thankful for the people I met
• Thankful for the team of people I work with
• Thankful for filet mignon for dinner
• Thankful for my health
• Thankful for women on the journey studying together

#1000Gifts 

Feed My Soul

Thursday mornings I get up extra early.  I'm at the Deli by 7 a.m.  One by one, they straggle in, these friends of mine, church ladies.  I am one of the youngest.  We catch up, pray, study together and do life, sharing each other's burdens and joys.  All within the space of one hour, once a week.  Charlene tried to express what this time meant to her this morning as we were getting ready to leave.  This group is a place to process life, to work out our faith, to talk about deep theological issues as well as how we deal with family situations. We try to make it practical and applicable.

It's a lifeline really.  This thing called fellowship.  We are a small tribe, sometimes just two of us show up, other times as many as eight.  But we are deeply connected.  We ask about that grand-baby, or that situation at work, or the difficult pregnancy of our youngest, or the trip we are planning or just returned from.  We remember and are connected.  This connection feeds the soul.  We share pictures, text or email each other.  We see each other at church and sometimes at other gatherings.  Yet it is this sacred time and space on Thursday mornings at the deli that bonds us.  The waiter remembers what we like to drink and brings it when we arrive.  We order crispy bacon or oatmeal or a full breakfast, but it is not the food that nourishes us.

Reflections on Grad School

As I approach the final weeks of graduate school, we were given an assignment to reflect on our time and our growth.  This is what I wrote. 

The Advanced Strategic Management course seems like a point of convergence in that it is bringing together all we have learned within the framework of leadership.  I am seeing in retrospect that my last boss was a collaborative leader practicing the tenets of appreciative inquiry; and I realize that I thrive under this leadership style.  The papers for this course are designed to help us make a personal strategic plan for our own professional growth and I am enjoying that.  I also appreciate the fact that this final course is more practical than theoretical. 

My interactions with you, my cohort mates, have made me a more articulate speaker, a better listener, and a more open-minded person.  You have expanded my understanding of nonprofits, of friendship, of faith, and of worldviews.  Chavonne, you have taught me about caring enough to take action through your ministry with Young Charming Ladies.  Megan, our resident grammar Nazi, you have showed me that there are many different perspectives and ways to view an issue.  Huan, you have been steady and thoughtful and have taught me much about intellectual inquiry.  Corwin, your absence is deeply felt – you taught each of us how to be better, more passionate speakers.  Each of you has opened my horizons and collectively you have loved, supported, and encouraged me, and each other, on this journey.  And I am thankful.  I am proud of how hard we all have worked to achieve this goal. You have asked penetrating questions and not been afraid to wrestle with difficult issues and theoretical concepts, all while looking for a practical application in your lives and work.  Together, we have become stronger advocates for the causes and ministries that we care about.  I pray you will continue on the path of intellectual discovery and growth and that you will seek to use your unique gifts to love and serve others. 

#1000Gifts